Karl's Song: "Folks Up the Road"

Many of you who live in Tecumseh know the Ries family. They lived two doors down the road from us for many years. Mom and Edie Ries were best buds and they used to talk to one another every day. We’ve gone through thick and thin with them and Karl’s illness and passing was no different. Each have helped us through this in their own special way.

Many of you may also know that Tim Ries now lives near New York City and has toured as a sideman, playing the saxophone and keyboards, with the Rolling Stones. (As I write this, he’s in Los Angeles rehearsing for the Stones next tour.) Anyway, Tim couldn’t make it to Karl’s celebration, but he wrote a song for the occasion. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to download the tune and put it on a CD for the church to play in time for the funeral, so I asked him if I could post it on the blog. He reluctantly said yes. He’s not happy with the quality because he did it so quickly. For that reason he asked that you not download the song. When the tour ends, maybe he’ll record it more to his liking and then I’ll update the blog with the new version.

Accompanying the song was this email message:

“Kerry,

“This is the song I wrote for Karl. In truth, it is a song about the feeling and the closeness I have toward your entire family. When I think of the blessed and happy childhood I experienced growing up on Macon Road, just down the road from the Hamiltons, next to the Schaffers, a stone’s throw from the Gibsons golf course and over the river, or creek as it were, and through the woods to the Jones house, it is nearly like another lifetime. Like it was someone else who lived it and yet it was me. It was all of our times. It was the best of times, to coin a phrase. How lucky we all were.

“Without question, one, or all of the Hamiltons were always at our house, whether we liked it or not (that dig was for you Kerry) or we were at their house every day that we weren't in school. As children we were always welcomed into anyone’s house in the hood. And everyone was welcome to our place. Our family had 4 children but it wasn't unusual to have 10 or 15 children at our place without any planned "play date". Just come on over and let’s have fun. Fun. Honest to goodness FUN with a capital F U N. Doing whatever. Maybe those very simple times are gone forever for children. I try to make my household similar to my childhood, fun and laughter whenever possible. Why not? Life is so very short and very precious.

“They say the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Well, Dean and Jo Ann Hamilton always had a smile on their faces. Always. And their wonderful children always did as well. As for Karl, who seemed so much younger than me. All of 5 years. When you are 8 or 9 someone who is 3 is really young. But we always included Karl in our activities. Everyone but Kerry that is (OK, I will stop bashing Kerry) Maybe not :-)

“I am so saddened by the passing of Karl. I know he had been through so much these last few years. Unimaginable. It is so strange, when you are driving down the road and pass a house, you never know who is inside and what experiences are going on in that house. Each house, each person in that house has a story. We can only hope that they are happy stories. As the years pass, I am sure that each house has its share of joy and sorrow. Inside, where life is happening, we need to be living that life to its fullest. For we never know the next day what could happen.

“I think of just in our little neighborhood, how much joy that happened and how much sorrow. My own brother Mark taken from us at 7 years old. Matthew Jones in his teens. Scott Schaffer tragically in his teens. Not to mention our parents who have passed. And now Karl. Way too early. Such a positive, smiling loving force of life. He battled so many obstacles.

“I will miss him. I will miss his smile, the sound of his voice -- he had such a distinctive voice.

“The song I wrote is called "Folks Up The Road". It is for Karl, and his entire family. It is also for all of us in the community who share those wonderful childhood memories and experiences. It was joy and love.

“My sincere condolences to the Hamilton and Smith families. I sure love them.

“Tim”

Tim’s song and the words he wrote in the email moved me so much that about a week after Karl’s funeral, I wrote lyrics for it. I think they convey the feelings that Tim wrote above. If you play the video, the first slide is of the Ries family in 2005 -- Becky, Tim, Marcy, Teri and Edie is sitting. 

Here are the lyrics:

I look back at the time when I was young

When all I thought about was having fun

The simple times of playing in the yard

When neighbors came and gave time no regard

Folks up the road were always there

Through thick and thin, I always knew they cared

And now as I grow old

God bless folks up the road

The laughter, joy and innocence would show

that country, Midwest values overflow

All the fun spontaneous; I loved it

You can tell by the wear and tear on my old baseball mitt

Folks up the road were always there

Through thick and thin, I always knew they cared

And now as I grow old

God bless folks up the road

I want the same kind of road for my children

and I think I can give them that same road if I just try 

(Instrumental)

And now when I go driving down the road

With each house that I pass a story's told

Inside there may be lowly times or high

I hope they have what I've had to get by

Folks up the road were always there

Through thick and thin, I always knew they cared

And now as I grow old

God bless folks up the road

Life is so short we should live every moment

Cuz we never know when one of us will be called home

Tracks on our hearts

Photo taken 3-22-13

Photo taken 4-11-13

One of the things that reminds me daily of Karl are the tracks from his wheelchair that were left in our lawn when he visited on Christmas Day – his last time here. I go between the pain of seeing them and knowing that he won’t be making them again to wanting them always there because I don’t want to lose the visible signs of Karl’s existence. But as we get more rain and the temperature rises and the shoots of new grass burst through the brown thatch, the tracks are fading. I don’t want them to. Frankly, I want Karl back. Regardless of the fact that the tracks in my yard are fading and will soon be gone, the tracks Karl left on our hearts may fade a little, but they’ll never completely disappear. Thank God for that.

For those of you who live out of town or were unable to come to his celebration of life because you just didn’t think you could get through it, I’ll share with you some of the messages along with the service folder and  local newspaper obituaries.

 

First of all, Gloria Dei Lutheran Church was pretty full. I’m not sure how many it holds, but it reminded me of how full we are on Christmas and Easter…extra folding chairs needed to be set up in the back. At least 200 people took time out of their day to be with us. It made us feel good that so many people wanted to celebrate Karl’s life. And boy did we celebrate. I don’t ever recall a funeral where there was so much laughter – nor do I remember one that was so long! Karl would have loved it.

After Pastor Joyce read the lessons, four of Karl’s buddies spoke about their lives with and impressions of him. First was Stu Remley, one of Karl’s fraternity brothers at Adrian College. Before he got to his spiel, I asked him to read something I had written knowing I wouldn’t be able to deliver it. Here it is:

“Dear friends and family,

“Thank you all for helping us to celebrate Karl’s life. I know you share the sorrow and pain of Karl’s loss and so I’d like to offer a few words that will hopefully make you smile and perhaps help you be more Karl-like.

“Those of you who know Karl know he liked “deals.” For example, he loved buying in bulk because it was much cheaper than smaller lots. Nearly five years ago, when all his wonderful friends from Adrian Steel were cleaning out his house in Adrian, we found countless items that he had purchased in bulk, among them a gallon of Worcestershire sauce. What would ANYONE do with a gallon of Worcestershire sauce? The only thing we could figure was that he was going to make a heckuva lot of Chex Mix!

“He also liked to make purchases of absolute junk, thinking he could turn the junk into something remarkable. He was such an optimist. His theory was that he could use the amazing skills of his friends to fix, fabricate, or remodel whatever it was he had purchased.

“Take, for instance, his wheelchair-accessible vans. He has two. Let’s face it folks, they are CLUNKERS! No amount of expertise or skills could have turned them into sleek, smooth-driving vehicles. Neither of them came with the 5 liter turbo hemi with dual heads under the hood that he had envisioned. And while everyone who helped him with these projects did the best they could, they didn’t have much to work with. Yet he was able to go where he needed to go and do what he needed to do.

“That sort of describes Karl. His body was a real clunker – a piece of junk. Doctors, nurses and therapists didn’t have much to work with, yet they patched him up as best he could. He was able to do more with it than you or I could have ever envisioned had it been one of us. I think it’s because under the hood, God gave Karl one of the most amazing and powerful engines He ever created.

“I know I would have felt pretty sorry for myself had I faced the same daily challenges as he did. He got through it because he focused on others. He cheered for people. He was genuinely excited when people were able to go on vacations, get new toys, had babies, or had any sort of good news. Conversely, he was always encouraging or consoling people.

“Just a little over two weeks ago, Karl helped one of his nurses at U-M get through the illness and death of her sister. And he consoled many of us the last few days of his life. Karl loved everyone equally. In fact, his first roommate seven weeks ago at U-M was a homeless guy. After he was discharged, he came back to visit Karl twice!

“Karl truly made lemonade out of lemons. He didn’t concentrate on his problems because he was not about to let that define who he was. In fact, he made fun of himself which always put people at ease. I can’t tell you how many people over the course of the last few years had to look at his rear end to check wounds or incisions. Of course with all the surgeries, his bum had a bunch of long zipper-like scars. After turning over, he’d generally start the conversation with, “I used to be a butt model. Do you think my butt modeling days are over?” He was truly a human pin-cushion and he could have been constantly complaining, but as he often said, “What good will it do to complain? It doesn’t change the situation and all it does is make everybody miserable.”

“The great motivational speaker and author Steven Covey theorized that one of the basic things we strive for as humans is that we leave a legacy. Karl’s legacy is that he was loved by so many and the reason for that is that he truly, genuinely loved them. We can all continue Karl’s legacy and honor his memory by doing the little things Karl did. If we can all be just a little more considerate to one another, be happy for others victories and good news, offer encouragement and take joy in the little things life gives us every day, then we will all be more like Karl. And more like Christ.

“Now, how many of you have ever read Karl’s blog, No Hill for a Climber? The chorus for Karl’s theme song, “No Hill for a Climber,” goes like this:

That's no hill for a climber
That's no battle for a child of God
Satan's already been defeated
And the victory's been won
Jesus won the fight on Calvary
When he died for you and me
Now Satan get behind me 'cause I claim the victory

“Today Karl truly is victorious. When someone does something spectacular or performs in a way that goes above and beyond, we give them a standing ovation. Will you join me right now and give Karl the standing ovation he deserves?”

Everyone stood and applauded.

To be honest, because of the circumstances I only remember bits and pieces of the next four speakers and most of what I remember were humorous…I guess that’s where I chose to go on the day of Karl’s celebration. I’ll try to write what I remember, but I know I missed a lot. If I could get you to fill in the blanks and/or add your reflections by way of comment on this post I’d really appreciate it. In retrospect, we wish we had recorded the funeral, but instead we are going to rely on those of you who were there to help us remember.

After reading the letter from me, Stu talked about his experiences with Karl. His message – mixed in with lots of humorous Karl stories – was basically that we all are wondering why this happened to Karl. But his conclusion is that only Karl could have made this kind of impact with the circumstances he was given. As an example, after hearing Karl’s description of his buddy Rodney, Stu said before he met him he was sure if there was any trouble, Rodney would come swooping in wearing a cape, pick up the frat house, take care of any problems, put the house back down and fly off. This, of course, got lots of laughs. Stu continued that this was the way Karl felt about his friends…he was optimistic about everyone and saw the good in them. And this was the way he lived. On his last visit with Stu, Karl comforted him, saying he would go to prepare a place for him. So poignant.

Next up was Rodney Partridge, one of Karl’s childhood buddies. After Stu’s description of him, Rodney sheepishly approached the lectern and said, “I’m Rodney,” which of course made everyone laugh again. Rodney talked about Karl’s driving abilities, or his lack thereof. I know there were other very nice things Rodney said, but for some reason, the driving thing (and throwing poor David Martin around while he was sleeping) is what stuck out for me. Please help me fill in the blanks!!

Charley Rebottaro, another of Karl’s childhood friends, told the 2 x 4 story among others. When they were about eight years old, Karl and Charley were out playing at the Rebottaros where a new pole barn was being built. Leaning vertically against one of the partially-built walls was a stack of 2 x 4s. Karl was a little too close to the stack when all at once, one of the 2 x 4s fell and hit Karl on the head, knocking him down. Just as he was staggering to his feet, another 2 x 4 fell and hit him on the head, knocking him down again. This occurred over and over. Finally, Karl got his wits about him enough to scramble away from the last 2 x 4 so that it couldn’t hit him on the head. Instead, it hit him on the back of his legs and sent him flying into the electric fence. Imagine the laughter of those in attendance! On Charley’s last visit, Karl told him that his last CT scan revealed the source of all of his problems…a splinter from one of the 2 x 4s was found in his spinal cord! Charley said he grabbed Karl and gave him a kiss squarely on the lips before he left him the last time.

Isabel (Izzy) Lopez, who also spent a lot of time with Karl as a youngster and also went to school with Charley, told Charley a hand-shake would do if they were ever in similar circumstances. (More laughter). Izzy talked about Karl’s faith. Karl confided in Izzy in his last hours. Izzy is a part-time minister who comforted us all when he said he knew where Karl was. Izzy also sprinkled in moments of humor.

Finally, Pastor Joyce Freund tied all of these messages together by talking about Jesus’ love for his followers. Pastor Joyce didn’t know Karl long, but what she knew about him is that he loved people and they loved him. She also knew Karl loved Jesus as his savior. The gospel she used, John 14:1-7, is the one where Jesus is telling his disciples that he is going ahead to prepare a place for them and that if they believe in him, they will know where to find him. Thankfully, Karl knew the way.

Our dear friend Mary Ferguson, in whose house Mom and Karl stayed when their house was being remodeled in 2008 after Karl’s release from Mayo, sang “Hymn of Promise.” It was so comforting. We didn't get to play the song that our dear friend Tim Ries wrote and recorded the night before the funeral. But since then I've written lyrics. He doesn't want me to share it until he's tweaked it, so that will be left for another post.

After going to the brief committal service at the cemetery, where Karl was laid to rest next to our dad, we enjoyed a meat loaf dinner at the church, prepared by our dear friend Rosemarie Poehlsen and the other wonderful ladies in the kitchen at Gloria Dei. After fellowship there, we had a wake for Karl at the American Legion in Tecumseh where more stories were told.

Here’s hoping the tracks Karl left on your heart will never fade completely.

Blessings,

Kerry

At the wake: l-r, Steve Kampmueller, Annette Niedermier, Mom,
Jeff Niedermier, Renee Cambrey, Kirk, Gloria Brooks, Julie Aten,
Scott Kampmueller, me, Marcy Vanderpool

At the wake: far left - Izzy Lopez, Mom, Rodney Partridge,
right center is Terri Partridge, Rodney's wife.

Sign inside Muk's Sports Pub on 2-28-13.
There was a sign honoring Karl outside,
as well.